Thomas of Darton
Provost
Group
Darton (Wellington, NZ)
Contact Details
PH: +64
Email: e-mail address
Library
Books I own
Research Interests
All Italian Martial Arts.
Teaching Speciality
Italian, modern olympic fencing
History
Tom Donsbane (sung to the tune of Cows with Guns)
Wet and docile, windblown too
They look so easy, they aren't much fun
Darton unsung
They train to fence, the fence then die
They all get beaten at the Tourney oh my
Darton undone
Nobody thunk it, nobody knew
No one imagined a great fencing guru
Tom has come
He trained in the French, parried with great zeal
He loved hanging guardia, a revolutionary heel
Tom's The One
He went to the tourney, but nobody learned
He fenced as a lefty, alone, oh my word
Tom had fun
He moved through the fights, fought all with glee
Crowd gathered round, cause the scarves had just died
Dead Don Dead
Emrys, he was disrupted, served up on a plate
Ploughed into William, who soon met his fate
Dons undone
Tom's a brawny lad, who looks rather schmoozy
No one suspected he was a sinister doozy
Tom Donsbane
Then came the Guildmaster, no word of a lie,
Who lunged for the groin, then missed the eye
Don well done
Knocked out Tom's sword, all the way to the floor
Sixty gentles gasped, all jaws open like doors
Clunk Bang Clunk!
Tom picked up the rapier and jumped up to play
We are free roving fencers, we'll fence today
We will fight for fun and freedom
And hold our masked heads high
We will run free with the Journeymen, or die...
Tom Donsbane
He crashed into Iron Gate in a great stampede
Tricked with a sword bind, was met with a cede!
Black Scarf fun!
Sixty fencing secrets, all revealed in a heap
Covered in surprise, covered up deep
Glum Tom glum
Black Scarf rising, darkening the day
Twelve turning mandrittos, fencing Italian ways
We will fight for fun and freedom
And hold our masked heads high
We will run free with the Journeymen, or die...
Tom Donsbane
The Guildmaster said "Enough is Enough!
He's an uppity lefty, if you know, he's not tough!"
Last lunge done.
The sore losers gloated, folks sighed with relief
Tomorrow at noon, they all did Crown meet
Now Donsbane
Tom was dumbfounded, he analysed the plays
He moved his last move,
He rued his last play
Tom out-gunned
New thoughts were given, Italian's a stopper
Enforced by the might of many mighty authors,
But on the horizon, surveying the shoppers,
Came the heavenly score, of Fabris - You Monster!
We will fight for fun and freedom
And hold our masked heads high
We will run free with the Journeymen, or die...
Tom Donsbane
Maestro ibn Jelal, Guildmaster of Fence, did give leave and licence to Our Journeyman Thomas of Darton, called Donsbane, to play his Provost Prize against all Provosts and Guildmasters in their subtle mystery at these weapons, viz short sword, rapier & cloak, rapier & baton, rapier & dagger and rapier & gauntlet. Said Journeyman was present upon the field at Fencing Fence 2011, and was examined by Provost Giles Leabrook, Provost Don Donnchadh Baillie, Guildmaster Don Caleb Adolphus, Guildmaster Dona Silfren the Singer and Guildmaster Owain Cantor ap Hughe. After due consideration, his examiners did agree that the Prize had been achieved, and did elevate Thomas of Darton, called Donsbane to the rank of Provost.
Articles
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